Transitions in Marriage; Power Relations and Children

“Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and their mothers, not only respect and courtesy for their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home.”

-Joseph F. Smith

Being one in marriage is so important and so critical to a strong marriage. My husband and I live in the same town we both grew up in. Our parents and most of our siblings all live here too. Sometimes it can be a challenge to not let our parents or siblings get involved in decisions regarding our family life. They hear about decisions or events coming up in our family and sometimes have their opinions on the matter. We are lucky though that they are good about respecting our decisions and not giving unwanted advice. My husband and I agreed that we would never make decisions without each other, that we would discuss and make decisions together. We work together and listen to one another. Sometimes that process can be long, difficult and frustrating, but we do it together and make the final decision together too. I also liked what Joseph F. Smith said about how husbands and wives should treat one another. He said that parents should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. They should never insult, never speak slightly of each other, never use sarcasm, and never be cutting. We should hold each other in the highest esteem in the home and in the presence of our children. He then said, “Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and their mothers, not only respect and courtesy for their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home.” I think it is very important that husband and wife treat each other with respect and love, as our children will learn from that. They will see how we treat one another. I want them to love and respect their father and they won’t be able to do that if they hear negative or mean remarks from me. From my husband and I’s interaction, our children will learn how to also treat one another within our family. We want them to resolve problems together, we want them to be forgiving, to speak positively of each other, and to defend one another. They will learn all of these things from how my husband and I act. We must be good examples of love and respect.