Transitions in Marriage; Fidelity and Physical Intimacy

"Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was comforting, sometimes it was romantic, sometimes it was spiritual, and sometimes it was just a willingness to love. I think this really described all the things that intimacy is and does for a marriage. It doesn’t just serve one purpose."

-Sean E. Brotherson's Mother

Intimacy is an important part of marriage. It is something for me, didn’t get talked about a lot growing up. Within my family, ward and community it wasn’t talked about that much. We grew up just knowing that intimacy was for marriage and outside of marriage it wasn’t right. It was for love and for creating children. But beyond that not much else was said. As the time came closer to being married, I didn’t really know what to expect or what was now okay. The reading materials for this chapter were full of great knowledge and insight about the subject. I think talks like the ones shared should be discussed more within our families and other church settings. I think it would help promote healthy sexuality within marriages and healthy relationships as the reading stated that many couples struggle with communicating their feelings or coming to terms with intimacy. I think the reading fully expressed how intimacy should be handled and that it is okay to partake in while still showing the sacredness of intimacy and how it should be reserved for marriage. I liked what Sean E. Brotherson’s mother said about intimacy. When asked by her son what the experience was supposed to be like she replied that sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was comforting, sometimes it was romantic, sometimes it was spiritual, and sometimes it was just a willingness to love. I think this really described all the things that intimacy is and does for a marriage. It doesn’t just serve one purpose.

 I also liked that fidelity was discussed. When it comes to being faithful there are other dimensions to that than just physical intimacy with another person. Other ways we can be unfaithful are emotional infidelity, flirting, fantasies about another person, or creating special relationships with other people. These may seem like innocent actions but they can quickly lead you down a path of infidelity. I liked the idea of spiritual fidelity from the talk by Kenneth W. Matheson. A bishop suggested thinking in terms of spiritual infidelity, as it would help us to recognize the eternal potential of our marital relationships. It would also help us to remember the covenants we made in the temple and to be careful of thoughts and deeds that could undermine those covenants. He said, “If a person is unfaithful spiritually he is not honoring his temple covenants even though he has not committed physical acts of intimacy.”