Cherishing Your Spouse

"There are few greater gifts a couple can give each other than the joy that comes from feeling known and understood.” 

Gottman

Gottman has what he calls love maps. I think sometimes we can get caught up in our own lives, as we are apart for most of the day. I’m home doing things with our kids and he is at work, we both have online classes and callings as well. Sometimes it seems we are always so busy and don’t have very much time to relax and spend time with just each other. But even with us being so busy, we are able to relate to one another, know each other’s needs and stay relevant with one another. As Gottman said, because we have detailed love maps we are able to cope with stress and conflict.  He also said, “There are few greater gifts a couple can give each other than the joy that comes from feeling known and understood.” I love that and think it is so true! That is one of the best things about having a spouse, having someone who truly knows you and understands your feelings and needs. Having someone like that provides comfort and happiness even when things aren’t going well. I also liked that he talked about the importance of admiring and cherishing our spouse. As I read this chapter I was able to think back to all the fond memories I have had with my spouse. All the good memories really do bring back such strong feelings of happiness and love. The good memories shut out all the negative feelings. I have had many times where my husband has annoyed me or made me angry. There are times when I have been frustrated with our marriage. But when I have sat back and looked back at our past, I get those happy feelings again and the negative ones disappear quickly. I liked the activities each chapter provided and thought they were fun to do. It was fun to review how well we really know each other and they also brought up so many fun memories. These activities would be fun to go back and do every so often with my spouse as we get older and experience new things to add to our lists.